


self reflection

by redwitchrune



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Self-Reflection, implied sleepy bois inc + tubbo, is that everything??, l'manburg, repeatitive, written before ranboo joined btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:40:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27805489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redwitchrune/pseuds/redwitchrune
Summary: tubbo thinks about the people who have betrayed himthis is my first dsmp fic. idk what im doing
Relationships: Eret & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sam | Awesamdude & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sapnap & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot, mentioned!! no acutal interactions
Kudos: 74





	self reflection

Tubbo stood inside his now finished reconstruction of the camarvan, reminiscing. Although devoid of the essential brewing stands, standing inside still reminded him of where they came from--building his house along the prime path, with his unfinished bee farm outside, Spins inside, the secret villagers underground. 

He thought back to hours spent with Sapnap as they farmed for resources, the times spent with Tommy just messing around the server, times with Purpled or Ponk, simpler times, before war and conflict and betrayals. 

He thought back to Eret. He remembered the times they spent hours talking, hours working on L’Manburg together. He remembers talking about music with Eret, Niki, and Fundy. He remembers Eret always being supportive of him and helping him when he needed him. He remembers being excited when Eret said they had something to win the war with. He remembers the final control room and he remembers the sad yet relieved face Eret wore as he saluted to their murders. He remembers seeing a castle being built across the lake and remembers seeing Eret pacing through the windows. He remembers feeling alone in the times he would have been with them, mindlessly farming materials. He remembers not seeing Eret for weeks.

Tubbos thinks back to after the disc war. He remembers the few days of peace, the few days of calm happiness. He remembers showing Sapnap his redstone and explaining how it works. He remembers building the beginnings of an iron from and running from Dream, threatening to tear it down. He remembers Sap helping him and giving his honest opinions. He remembers the beginning of their country, remembers Sapnap siding against them, fanning the flames of Dream’s control. He remembers watching them burn his house, seeing the embers of burnt wood fall to the ground. He remembers them storming his new house. He remembers Sapnap being the only one to kill him then, again and again. He remembers Sap betraying him and Tommy on the railroad. He remembers Sapnap on the edge of L’Manburg’s borders, stood at Dream’s side as TNT blew up their land. 

Tubbo remembers the election. He remembers the excitement shared between him and Tommy as they won the popular vote. He remembers Wilbur’s solemn expression as he told them to calm down. He remembers the smile plastered on Schlatt’s face. He remembers Schlatt’s speech as he banished his friends, and remembers Schlatt calling him up to his side. He remembers being ordered to kill his friends. He remembers being told to tear down the walls, the walls that symbolized their country, symbolized their independence, the walls that symbolized L’Manburg. He remembers Schlatt’s manipulative smile, pressuring and threatening him into doing things he didn't want to. He remembers the festival.

Inside the van, his eyes wander to the obsidian block in the wall. The original obsidian, still sat in the same spot since they placed it. The new item frame sat empty, devoid of their declaration they once held. He thinks the book is in Ghostburs library now.

Tubbo is reminded of Pogtopia. Hope manifested in a simple ravine. He remembers seeing Techno for the first time as he farmed potatoes. He remembers joking around with Tommy as he worked on redstone for the farm. He remembers Wilbur’s laughter and Tommy’s mock-anger, trapped in a room. He remembers their plans. He remembers the announcement of the festival, hearing Tommy tell him of Wilbur’s plans, Wilbur’s plans of destruction. He remembers them on the bench. He remembers Wilbur trying to tell him to not trust Tommy and remembers the look in Wilbur’s eyes. He remembers Wilbur telling him what to say in his speech. He remembers hearing of the button.

He remembers how kind Wilbur’s eyes used to seem.

Tubbo thinks about Technoblade. He remembers seeing his join message pop up. He remembers thinking he was on Schlatt’s side. He remembers watching him farm potatoes in Pogtopia, along with brotherly care in his eyes when Techno saw them. He remembers the festival, being trapped, trapped by the man he thought he tricking into trusting him. He remembers Technoblade stepping up to the front of the podium, the crossbow by his side, and deep down already knowing what Schlatt wanted. He remembers the hidden pain in Technoblade’s expression as he held the loaded crossbow to chest height. He remembers his apology. He remembers waking up in Pogtopia with his injuries bandaged but not painless. He remembers Wilbur instigating a fight. He remembers forgiving Technoblade, knowing what it was like, then remembers Tommy looking at him in disbelief. He remembers the fight. He remembers Tommy protecting him. He remembers Wilbur’s grin. He remembers the bright light and explosions of fireworks.

He can see where the podium used to stand from the camarvan. It gives him shivers just thinking about it, so he turns to look out the other side at the L’mantree, protected in obsidian.

Tubbo smiles and remembers Sam. He remembers meeting him and seeing his base for the first time. He remembers being amazed at the redstone. He remembers the door. He remembers starting projects with him, exploring the oceans for a trident and finding a monument, and surrounding it with glass. He remembers spending hours with Sam draining the ocean and talking. He remembers testing redstone with him. He remembers Sam telling him he was neutral in this conflict. He remembers Sam being impressed with his jungle base. He remembers seeing Sam at the battle, fighting alongside them, and then seeing the banner across his shield. He remembers seeing him stand by Techno’s side at the end. He remembers him standing next to Dream. He remembers the laughter and then a face of regret. 

Tubbo remembers Wilbur. He remembers hearing explosions. He remembers seeing Wilbur’s pleading face from a distance, pushing a sword into his father’s hands. He remembers seeing Ghostbur for the first time, shocked and full of too many emotions, the yellow sweater on his grey body as he built a house. He remembers the soft smiles he missed so much. He remembers him teaching them how to play the anthem. He remembers when he started to forget. He remembers the building he does, striving for new L’Manburg to look beautiful. He remembers his cold hands as they phased through his own. He remembers reading the book. He remembers not talking of many events. He remembers the distant looks the ghost gave him.

Tubbo thinks about Philza. He remembers meeting him. He remembers the smiles of a younger Wilbur, the distant yet soft care of Techno, and the chaos of Tommy. He remembers Phil always being there. He remembers the downy roughness of his wings as they surrounded him in protection. He remembers seeing him in the blown-up room, seeing the tears on his face as he killed his own son. He remembers fighting with him against the withers. He remembers seeing him leave with Technoblade and he remembers their empire. He remembers seeing them building a new home. He remembers he subtly has a favorite child. He remembers the comfort of falling asleep against his wings.

He is pulled from his thoughts by the sound of zombies outside. He wasn’t sure how long he had stayed in the van. Nevertheless, Tubbo took a deep breath and left to continue work on reconstructing his country.


End file.
